Don't think too much.

Usually, when God is wanting me to notice something He will repeatedly put it in front of me. This week Philippians 4:8 keeps popping up everywhere I look. This verse talks about keeping your thoughts on things that are excellent and worthy of praise. It goes like this: 

“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”

God has basically been shoving this verse in my face this week and with good reason. I tend to let my thoughts wander to places I’m so ashamed of. I let negativity and judgment win the fight in my head. It hasn't been until recently that I’ve been intentional about paying attention to where my thoughts take me. 

I tend to let my thoughts run wild. I didn't even realize that what I was thinking was affecting my mood and how I treated people. There would be days I’d be so sad and not know why. I was failing to see that my thoughts dictate my attitude. 

A thought battle I’ve been fighting with is how I see my body. Ugh, that was so uncomfortable to type. We all know the image the world puts out of the “ideal woman”. Things are getting better but there’s still that image I’ve grown up seeing of the cute skinny girl in the size 0 jeans that haunts me. I’ve never struggled with body image before and honestly, have never paid much attention to my weight. But recently the way I see my body when I look in the mirror is pretty toxic. I’ve started to squeeze and squish the areas I’d like to be gone. I step on the scale more than I ever have. 

This is so personal and I’m honestly a little nervous putting it out there. But if there is a woman or a man that is struggling with letting their thoughts pervert how they see their beautiful, God-given body; I want them to know they're not alone. 

I read something about body image a while ago that has stuck with me. It’s a practice that this woman writes about doing and how it has changed that way she looks at her body. She stands in front of the mirror in her undies and when she starts to critique herself she immediately shuts it down. If for example, she didn't like her thighs she would touch them and say, “I love my thighs. They are beautiful.” And she will do that with every single part of her body she’s insecure with.

I’ve adopted this practice and have been doing it often. I feel ashamed for not fully loving the body God has created for me. I’m disappointed that I sometimes stand in the mirror and wish I was smaller. I love Psalm 139:14, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made”, but I find myself not truly believing it. 

This post is a way for me to process and remind myself that I have power over the thoughts that run through my head. What we let manifest in our minds is what will come out in our words and our actions. Don’t beat yourself up for letting your thoughts go to negative places. Remember that grace covers all shame and disappointment. We have to acknowledge and talk about the lies that we've let become our truth and then work to change them.  

The only way to fight the negativity is to start our days with God in His word. When our thoughts are wanting to attack we’ll be ready to push them through a filter of grace and truth.

“You have power over your mind…Realize this, and you will find strength.” -Marcus Aurelius