TRUST

It’s ok to be happy. 

This is something I’ve had to repeat to myself many times. I talked a little about it in last week’s post, but I wanted to dig deeper today. 

I have found myself going through life with fear of when the suffering will come. From listening to peoples stories, reading the news, and just living we all know that a big part of this life is suffering. Tragedy happens and there’s nothing we can do to prevent it. The lack of say that I have over things that happen around me scares the stink out of me. 

It’s a control thing. If you know me, I definitely don't come off as a control freak. I’m usually pretty easy going, but I think getting married and just growing up in general has opened my eyes to the harsh reality that we will all suffer. It’s not a matter of if, but when. 

Before you click off this page because it’s too depressing, I promise I’m about to talk about happy things. The reason I shared my deep thoughts about suffering and my control issues with you is because I don't want you to go through life with fear of what will happen next. That is what I have been doing. I am slowly learning how to shed my controlling tendencies and to truly trust God. Not just quote Proverbs 3:5 and call it a day, but to really get on my knees and surrender every aspect of my life to Him. 

God’s whisper to me has been there for so long and just recently I have decided to take Him off hold and put Him on speaker. “It’s ok to be happy with the life I have given you.” Who am I to question the holy plans of my Father? Who am I to think I know better? Who am I to tell God I trust Him with my life, yet try to hold on to control? 

God has called us to live in a constant state of gratitude. This is one of those things where you first read it and think: good for the people that can do that but my life is way too hard right now. But that’s just it, when we think our life is way too hard right now that is the exact moment we need to start living in gratitude. 

I heard a story recently about a woman and her husband that were going through a really hard time of poverty. Their marriage was falling apart, they couldn't pay their bills, every ounce of hope had been drained from them. They had twenty dollars in the bank and decided to go to a fast food place. They pulled up to the drive thru window ready to pay but were told the lady in front of them had covered it. This simple act of kindness ended up changing their whole lives. They were so grateful for their meal that they went home and decided to write out 365 different things they were grateful for and ended up turning their lives around. 

365 things. I rarely stop to think and physically write down what I am grateful for. And when I do I write maybe 5 things. But can you imagine the shift in your spirit if you sat down and wrote out 365 things that brought you joy? 

God has not put us on this earth to be fearful of the days to come. He has not made us to live in a spirit of fear, but a spirit of trust. If we are not giving up control and trusting God fully through the good AND bad, do we really believe God is who He says He is? Do we really have faith? 

These questions have haunted me as I have begun to uncover my doubts. I share them not to condemn anyone but to let you know you are not alone. Suffering will come and when it does we are allowed to grieve. We are allowed to feel pain caused by our broken world. But we cannot dwell in it. God is not indifferent to our suffering. He sees us, He loves us. God’s love for us never falters, no matter what.  

Our Father wants us to enjoy the life He has created for us, no matter how it looks right now. He desperately wants us to let go of control and trust in His unending promises.  We just need to stop for a second and recognize the countless joys He has planted all around us. Take the next 10 minutes to write down some things you are grateful for. Who knows? You might just end up with 365.