To Trust or not to Trust

Written by Cora Nash

I don't know about you, but trusting others is difficult.  

I work at a faith-based preschool.  Okay, so the truth is that I run the preschool.  I am the director.  Yes, I am the boss of 20 beautiful ladies, ages 20-65.  

We are an amazing group.  We have prayed for each other through illness, childbirth, divorce, separation, grief, pain and more.  Now, our church is building an additional worship and preschool location. So my pastor, whom I love dearly, renamed my title to be Director of Preschool Operations- which means I am in charge of both. The problem is, this means that I cannot be the director at both preschool locations. Nor can I be physically present in two places at once.

A big part of my focus right now is bringing up two amazing women that will be co-directors, with each lady soon to be in charge of one preschool location. I have known these ladies for more than 8 years combined.  I hired one of them and promoted the other.  So I have had some say in their “upbringing” in our school.  I also hand-picked them to take my place.  Well, God chose them and I ran with it. In other words, I admire their skills, like their work ethic, have faith in their judgment and appreciate their knowledge.

But…trusting other women with taking over my day-to-day tasks is hard for me.  Transitioning out of my role and saying, "Here you go, you do it!" is excruciating.   Do you feel me?  Have you figured out that I have a small issue with control?  

Our savior has been allowing me to walk through, sometimes crawl through, some of these challenges.  Closing some doors in order to open new ones.  So I have been in Psalm 23 quite a bit lately.  I have always related this psalm to funerals.  But something important is written in verses 3 and 4.  

The psalm says: "...He leads me beside still waters.  He restores my soul.  He leads me in paths of righteousness for his names sake." ESV  

What if this pain that I feel is God closing some doors, ending some eras, re-arranging some people so that I can be with Him by still waters so that He can restore my soul?  Not to say that my soul doesn't reside with Him.  But then again, what have I been putting my focus on?  Let’s just say there’s no “still waters” where my focus resides.

That’s what’s interesting about restoration—it’s not pretty as you journey through it.  But wow!  The beauty at the end of every chapter of restoration is gorgeous!  That’s what Jesus wants for me—pure restoration of who He created me to be in the first place!  Before I was in my mother’s womb and before sin entered in.  The amazing thing is that there’s no age limit.  God’s timing is not ours, so I can never say “It’s too late for me”.  I can say this because God has been restoring me for the past 9 years.  

But, that’s another story for another time.