Pray the scary prayers

As I drove to my piano lesson today I was running a little late. As I was pushing 90 on I-10 I said a little prayer and asked God to keep me safe as I drove to my lesson. I soon realized how ironic my prayer was. I was asking God to keep me safe, yet I was driving 90 on a 70… In that moment it was like God set off a lightbulb in my brain. How often in our prayers do we pray for something, but don't do our part? 

That’s what I was doing as I was speeding. I was saying a quick prayer for God to help me yet I wasn't doing my part in slowing down and being safe. I also was saying a fast in the moment desperate prayer when God calls us to pray the prayers that scare us, prayers that challenge us and that we don't really want to pray. 

God hears every single one of our prayers. Our silent thirty second prayers, our out loud thirty minute prayers, even our desperate prayers as we speed down the highway. But there’s one major thing about prayer that we need to remember: prayer is a two way street. When we pray for God to help us get through a tough time, or pray that He would help us reach our goals we have to do our part as well. We also have to be ready for whatever steps He calls us to take, and trust me they are not always comfy steps. 

When Caleb and I went on our first date I knew that God was telling me very clearly that I had just met my husband. To backtrack a little, a month before I met Caleb God really put it on my heart that I needed to start praying for my future husband. I was only 18 so I wasn't really sure why He was telling me to do this, but I started a journal anyway thinking “sure, why not”. I even made a post on Facebook telling my young single girl friends to start praying for their future husbands as well. 

Fast forward a couple months and Caleb and I were dating. We started talking about marriage pretty early on (he was very intentional ;)) and I was fine with it. But the longer we dated the more I could see how serious he was about marrying me and I began to freak out a little. One night, we were at a friends house for dinner and I pulled him aside and told him that I wanted to date longer before we got engaged. This came as a shock to him and I saw his face immediately get very serious. (He got very serious when I told him because he had already bought the ring. I didn't know that until after we were engaged.)

The truth is, I was being very selfish when I told him that. The reason I told him I wanted to wait was because I was worried about what people would think if I got engaged when I was only 18. Lies ran through my mind like: people will think I’m pregnant, or people won’t take me seriously, or I’m way too young people will think I’m making a huge mistake. I let the fear of what people might think of me get in the way of what I had prayed for. God was blessing me with an answer to my prayers, but since it wasn't how I pictured it I was stepping back in fear. 

Thankfully, I realized my selfish behavior and Caleb and I got engaged shortly after that conversation. I share this story to explain to y'all that when we trust God with our lives and pray big prayers to Him, He is sometimes going to call us to do big things. Things that scare us and will often times look weird to the world around us. He wants us to do our part in prayer and it’s not always how we picture it. But, God calls us to be obedient. God has been revealing to me in this season of life to actively wait on Him. To trust Him with everything and to do my part no matter how intimidated I am about what He is calling me to do. 

Verses about obedience:

“If you love me, obey my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, who will never leave you.” John 14:15-16

“He replied, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.” Luke 11:28

“Now if you will obey me and keep my covenant, you will be my own special treasure from among all the peoples on earth; for all the earth belongs to me.” Exodus 19:5

“This is what I told them: ‘Obey me, and I will be your God, and you will be my people. Do everything as I say, and all will be well!’” Jeremiah 7:23